Scuba With Bill

Divers Alert Network (DAN) responds to the recent series of articles about Peter Bennett and DAN in this series of open letters.

The state has a new plan to restore abalone populations, some of which are nearing extinction along parts of the California coast.

Interesting tale of the Free Willy orca who just can’t seem to get enough of humans. After years of rehabilitation and what experts thought was the big moment, Keiko the killer-whale has decided he hasn’t had enough of humans yet.

This is a story I posted on Rodale’s Scubadiving.com back in 2001 under an assumed name (didn’t want to catch the hate-mail it was sure to inspire). I’ve posted it here but since I’m taking credit for it let me add some disclaimers:

I have nothing against DIR. It was a joke.

Author: DIR Dork

Date: 08-06-01 03:26

I converted to DIR about 6 months ago and I have found that the philosophy extends way beyond diving. I think most people tend to view DIR as a gear configuration or diving objective type of thing but it really is a philosophy that you can use in other parts of your life. For instance, below are just some of the ways I’ve extended the DIR way of doing things into other areas of my life.

Last week some of my buddies came over to my house. Now, not all of them are divers but they do understand the DIR philosophy. So, first off, we all drink the same beer. This avoids any situations where you might be enjoying a lager and accidentally pick up an ale (or the other way around). That can be very uncool. That could quickly lead to a panic situation so we avoid it all together.

We also drink only from cans, no bottles. And we never put the beer in the refrigerator. It always goes in the ice chest in my living room. 47% of Drinking Related Incidents (DRI) occur when someone is going to the fridge for another beer so better to be safe than sorry. Of course, this is all rigged up while we’re still 100% sober so there’s no impaired judgment once things get cooking.

All of us wear a bungee necklace with a full beer on it just in case someone experiences an Out Of Beer (OOB) emergency. I can offer my already opened beer to my buddy and simply reach down and grab the backup off my beer necklace. And, without exception, we always use the 7 foot hose on the beer bong.

Of course, we don’t stay in every night so when we do decide to go out we make sure we’re still DIR. All of us wear exactly the same clothing:

Levi’s 501 Jeans (button hole, straight leg)

Gap Black T-Shirt

Haynes boxer shorts, black

Gold Toe socks, black

Kenneth Cole shoes, Brad Bitt style

G-Shock watch, black band

Nylon belt, black, with military buckle

Black Leather Jacket (optional, depending on weather conditions)

This may sound a bit silly or overdone but believe me, when you’re penetrating a night club, knowing exactly what you buddies are dressed like can make all the difference in the world if you’re hoping to snag some hottie. Let’s say I see some cutie and just before I get up to go talk to her a waitress spills a drink in my lap? No problem, because I can always swap pants with my buddy. I don’t have to worry if they match, because I know he’s wearing Levi’s 501’s. Bam, swap pants and I can still complete my objective.

One thing to keep in mind about night clubs is that you seldom want to penetrate a club on beer. I know, some of the macho jerks do this and brag to all of their buddies but believe me, it’s not DIR. You have to do it on mixed drinks. Obviously the mix will be different on different nights but a good vodka tonic mix is pretty standard. Again, there’s a right way and a wrong way to do this. You can’t just order any old vodka or depend on some bartender to get the mix right. That’s what the strokes do. No, you order Stoli vodka which has an excellent reputation in the DIR partying community. The correct blend is 2oz Stoli with tonic water poured over ice in a highball glass (lemon or lime optional). I always bring a testing kit with me and if the blend is off, I send it back. It’s just not worth the risk and it’s not DIR.

So you penetrate the night club and you’ve got a good mix, now it’s time to meet the ladies. I should have said this earlier but watch your drink consumption. It’s a well known fact that women look 25% - 30% better in a night club and if you get all narc’d up on vodka tonic, it increases your chances of a coyote ugly blackout. You have to keep your wits about you.

If it’s early, you probably have pretty good viz. Later in the evening when the smoke silts up the room it’ll be harder to make out the women on the other side of the club so get your headings early. On a few occasions I’ve had to bust out the wreck reel just to get to the bathroom and back.

If you are lucky enough to hook up with a nice hottie, this is when doing it right really can pay off. Now, let’s face it, there’s a certain degree of danger involved here that I don’t want to downplay. You need to minimize your risks by using the proper equipment. I carry 2 condoms. One I put on . . . well you know, and the second I put on a bungee that goes around my waist. If there’s a malfunction on my primary, I can quickly go to my backup without hardly skipping a beat.

So, as you can see from these pretty basic examples, DIR is not just for diving. It’s something you can use in all areas of your life.

Keep it real,

DIR Dork

It looks like DAN founder, Peter Bennett, has been ousted by the board. It looks ugly. Here are two different articles:

• Deep Trouble
• DAN Founder Retires

The Coral Reef Photobank provides hundreds of photographs of coral reefs and many of their amazing inhabitants. These images can be downloaded on a royalty-free basis at no cost for non-commercial use. You can also donate photos. All efforts are in an effort to raise the public awareness of our coral reefs and what we should be doing to preserve them.

DiveNews.com has an excellent article on divers with disabilities.

Not many manatees here in California but there are some pretty good tips for any sort of animal interaction. Besides we have members from all over the world and you never know when you’re going to be in FL diving.

Almost every new diver seems concerned with their air consumption. Sometimes that concern is warranted and sometimes not. Either way, just thought I would post some interesting links I’ve come across that might help for the air hogs out there (I mean that in a nice way).

Pranayama This is an excellent article in FreeDiver magazine mostly geared for those who choose to dive without a tank but the exercises are a great insight into controlling your breathing.

SCR Calculations & Chart Rockin_Robert on the ScubaDiving.com webiste gives you the math you need in order to calculate your surface consumption rate which is probably the best way to measure actual gas consumption.

Diving With Ricardo and Careyitos Ricardo gives his secrets for long bottom times. More breathing exercises.

I was fortunate enough to catch a presentation at the Ocean Adventures Dive Club meeting last night by Bill Wilson of California Wreck Divers. He did a slide presentation on recovering materials from wrecks and presented several pieces he has brought back up with him. Now before anyone has a heart attack (we all know we’re not supposed to take) Ca. Wreck Divers makes the following points about what they do:

1. The ocean will destroy these wrecks anyway. Many have already fallen apart and the sea is taking it’s toll on both the wood and metal on these ships.

2. They offer whatever they bring up to the State of California and the state decides whether or not they can keep it. Most of the time the state doesn’t have the resources to restore the artifacts being brought back and so it is done by the private individuals who find it.

3. The Ca. Wreck Divers are eventually donating their finds to a museum they are working to build. They want to share what they’ve found and bring it out of the ocean now before the sea eats it away and it is gone forever.

So, like I said, a very nice presentation. Very informative and highly recommended (btw, if you call the Ca. Wreck Divers they will do a presentation at your club or school too).